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1、今天坐出租车，最后计价器显示30元，我递给司机100元，司机找给我一张50的，一张20的，临走之前，司机跟我说，孩子啊，最近20元假币很多啊，你注意看看是不是假币。我仔细的检查了好几遍，确认不是假币后下车了。回家后，我发现那张50居然是假的。
2、在饭店，一个姑娘订餐，穿着牛仔的连衣短裙，本来是坐在椅子上的，起来背着包包吧裙子勾起来了，我看见半个屁股~幸福来的好突然……看来，人与人的信任还是有的，因为没穿安全裤呀
3、军舰正在装载军用品，舰长夫人要登舰。被一站岗新兵拦下。
新兵：“夫人，正在装载军用品，请回避。”
舰长夫人：“开什么玩笑，我也是军用品啊！”
4、开着摩托车去接女神,到个转弯角,突然听到后面有个大爷传来惨痛的叫声,只见大爷捂着肚子扒在地上叫着疼,说我碰到他了,我赶紧下车去扶大爷,大爷硬是说我碰到他,要我陪个几千,我说大爷你别冤枉好人,心想今天遇到碰瓷了,难逃脱了,我说大爷这附近有摄像头,有证据证明我没撞你,大爷：这地盘是我的,没摄像头,不给钱就别想跑.大爷说完，我飞过去一脚,完了再大力踩几下,马了个避的,没摄像头你还那么嚣张!
5、爸爸下班回家，小明兴奋地一把将爸爸抱住，爸爸反手给了小明一记耳光：就是你这个熊孩子天天缠着我，搞得我股市亏钱，这不是“抱爹”（暴跌）吗？小明的妈妈正手给了老公一个耳光：儿子抱你，也可以说是抱着长辈——暴涨吧！
6、儿子：粑粑粑粑，我问你个问题哦。 爸爸：好呀，你说。 儿子：“金克木，木克土，土克水，水克火，火克金，什么克风？” 爸爸：“这个。。爸爸不知道。。” 儿子：“麦克风！哈哈”
7、以前读书和堂哥一个班，有次考试让回家拿5元交资料费。为了零花钱多一些回家告诉老妈要8元。老妈不相信非要问堂哥他妈。我怀着忐忑的心情等老妈打完电话揍我。 老妈打完电话回来:“让你上课认真点你不听，你堂哥说的是10元！” 我:“…………”
8、刚才去超市，买完东西准备走门口，保安把我拦住了说：你裤子里鼓鼓的是什么东西？我愤怒的脱下裤子说：看到你我就硬了不行嘛！
9、高中那时和一女孩子拍拖，双方家里人都不知道，有一天和女友去逛街，突然发现有个猥琐男，极度猥琐的朝女友看了看，当时没在意…在那猥琐男跟了我们几条街后，我特么不能忍了，冲过去对他大吼“看你妹啊？看够没？“然后女友说“哥，你怎么在这……“我.………
10、一男同学，冲出教室不小心碰到一位女同学的胸，刚想道歉，只见女同学很生气的说“真不要脸，乱摸人家胸”。男同学立马整个人都不好了，回答道“你有吗？我怎么没感觉啊！””女生又问“那你知道为什么地球是圆的，我们也没感觉到吗？那是因为它大！”。。。。。
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
