Article
--Počasti žena sebe faceliftingom za rođendan i bude sasvim zadovoljna rezultatom. Na putu do kuce zaustavi se u butiku, pa na izlazu upita prodavača:
- "Nadam se da Vas ne gnjavim, ali šta mislite koliko godina imam?"
Prodavač odgovori: - "35",
Žena kaže:- "Zapravo, imam 47", i sva zadovoljna izađe iz butika. Skoči zatim do McDonaldsa i nakon što naruči jelo, upita čoveka za kasom:
- "Nadam se da Vas ne gnjavim, ali što mislite koliko godina imam?"
Tip odgovori: - "29". Žena kaže:
- "Zapravo, imam 47" i izađe sva sretna i zadovoljna. Dok je na stanici čekala autobus, priupita jednog starca isto pitanje. Starac će:
- "Ja imam 85 godina, pa moj vid nije kao što je nekad bio, a kad sam bio
mlađi imao sam vatreni način za doznati Vaše godine, samo bi u tom slučaju morao zavući ruku u vaše gaće".
Kako nije bilo nikog uokolo, a znatiželja čini svoje, žena pristane.
Stari zavuče ruku u njene gaće, nežno čeprka jedno 5 minuta, zatim izvadi ruku van pa reče: - "47."
Žena uzviknu:- "Pa to je neverojatno. Kako ste pogodili?!"
Stari odgovori: - "Bio sam iza Vas u McDonaldsu."
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Čovek ulazi u zavod za zapošljavanje u Sarajevu, i vidi oglas za upražnjeno mesto ‘ginekološkog asistenta’. Vidno zainteresovan, upita službenika za šalterom za podrobnije informacije o upražnjenom mestu.
- ‘A – to… Da, da… aha, evo ga…’ pođe čovek za šalterom preturajući po papirima. “Dobro, znači, vaš posao bi bio da pacijentkinje pripremite za pregled. Vi biste im pomagali da skinu donji veš, da udobno legnu na sto, i onda bi im oprali određene delove. Zatim bi nanosili penu za brijanje, i brijali stidne dlačice, i na kraju trljavali balzam na te iste delove, kako bi one bile potpuno spremne za pregled. Za to bi dobijali mesečnu platu od 2.500 eura. Na kraju, ako ste i dalje zainteresovani, morali biste otići do Tuzle’ .
- A što do Tuzle?
- E, tamo vam je kraj reda!!!!!
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Bila tri prijatelja: pijanica, pušač i peder. Ukaza im se jednom Bog i reče prvo pijanici:
- Ako još jednom popiješ i gutljaj alkohola odmah ideš u pakao.
- Što se tebe tiče (obrati se pušaču) ako povučeš ma i jedan dim odmah ideš u pakao.
- A što se tebe tiče (obrati se pederu) ako još jednom budeš jebao u dupe odmah ideš u pakao.
Ode Bog. Pijanica će odmah poslije toga:
- Ma što mene briga za njega, ni’ko meni ne može zabraniti da pijem! Uzme bocu i cugne, te odmah padne mrtav. Dok ja padao, ispadne mu iz džepa kutija cigara.
Peder će pušaču:
- Ne saginji se, majke ti, inače obojica ginemo!!!!
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To je sve za danas ... ako predjem 15 vote-a,postavljam jos viceva... ...
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About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
