Article
Before we jump into the story I would like to give you a very brief rundown of some of the major players in our long and disreputable history. It would take far too long to name all of the addicts, fools, killers, and gurus that have been a part of our merry band of mercenaries but here is a partial list:
Rear Admiral Derpy Hooves - The shadowy figure who runs the entire operation. No one knows anything about who this man was before he pulled off the heist of the century by stealing six air craft carriers and dozens of state of the art aircraft from the assorted superpowers of ALPHA. What is known is that he looks and smells of horse. Never travels without his "little ponies" a group of very young looking female groupies. He has been known to kill a man just so he could steal his apple.
Molly Emma Second in command of TOP GUN and paramour of Rear Admiral Derpy Hooves. Her father is said to be the head of an ancient mafia clan from Sicily who conceived Molly with a female mage. Molly is said to be a black which that can take the shapes of what all forum game nerds desire. She may appear to you looking like this:
or like this:
If so you MUST chant "There are no girls on the internet" five times in order to break her enchantment over you. If you do not will be forced into a life of servitude it which you supply Molly with all of your Q5 guns and food as well as vote for her in every election. When called on this behavior you will only be able to respond, "cuz we are friends and TOTALLY not cuz she is a girl and stuff"
Publius Spiritual leader and Warrior Priest of TOP GUN. Also known as "The Light, The Way, The Path, He Who Walks Behind The Rows, and "bro". Wears only a white tunic and sandals. Spends most of his day showing his students THE ONE TRUE WAY and killing those that can not be saved. Occasional forces his students to beat Russians to death using only hardcover copies of Atlas Shrugged.
Baarogue TOP GUN justice of the peace and troll killer. Is only seen after dark. Has a rare skin condition that renders him allergic to the sun. Some say he is a vampire. Has a large head.
Michael Porter Patron Saint of TOP GUN and shallow fox holes. Died in service of TOP GUN and this great nation. St. Porter originally hales from the what was once called the Petite Duchy of Porter in what is now the central part of modern day Australia. Oldest of three brothers and son of the Petite Duke of Porter. Renounced all claims to his fathers lands and titles to join TOP GUN. So much more to say about this mans life and death!
Porters Nephew - The son of Michael Porters aunt. She mated with escaped inmate of a Tokyo insane asylum while high. Known as PN, he only speaks in grunts. If he can't have sex with it he will kill it and eat it. Kept below deck in an iron cage until there is fighting to be done.
LexLuthor1 will return in Sex, Guns and Ponies: An Unofficial History of TOP GUN Part II More Who's who?
Previous article:
The road to domination Part I: Political parties and what NOT to do (13 years ago)
Next article:
Sex, Guns and Ponies: An Unofficial History of TOP GUN Part Il More Who's who? (13 years ago)
About the game:
USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!
In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.
Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.
Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.
In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.
Become an influential politician.
The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.
You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.
The international war.
The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).
At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.
E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.
Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.
Take part in numerous events for the E-Sim community.
